Peppies-Site Forums

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Peppies-Site Forums

Fun Games and General Chat.

:dj: when radio is on air you can tune in by clicking on the Peppies-Jukebox link on the top of the page (members only) and by leaving it open you can browse the site content and join in with stuff all at the same time or if you join us you can join us in the irc channel to see whats being played, make requests and join in with us there too. :dj: ADVERTS DISAPPEAR ON JOINING OUR SITE ITS FREE TO SIGN UP AND REGISTER SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND JOIN US RIGHT NOW!! HELP US TO BUILD A NICE LITTLE COMMUNITY WHERE FUN NEVER STOPS............

    Job Application in "Straya"

    bignige™
    bignige™


    Posts : 54
    Join date : 2010-06-24
    Age : 68
    Location : Tucked away in a hillside in Wales

    Job Application in "Straya" Empty Job Application in "Straya"

    Post  bignige™ 26th June 2013, 20:27

    BUNNINGS JOB APPLICATION (Australia Home Hardware Outfit)

    This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny....

    NAME:
    Kenneth Way (Grumpy bassie)

    ***:
    Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION:
    Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?

    DESIRED SALARY:
    $150,000 a year plus share options and a Julia Gillard style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION:
    Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD:
    Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY:
    A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
    My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING:
    It was a crap job.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
    Any.

    PRFFERRED HOURS:
    1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
    Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
    If I had one, would I be here'?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
    Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
    I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
    I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?:
    On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
    Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big boobs and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
    Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE?:
    12 Kms

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
    Oh yes. absolutely.

      Current date/time is 28th March 2024, 21:24